Sunday, January 15, 2006

Everybody is a judge

Just last week my blogging buddy the Queen of Spain was attacked for her parenting methods and told she was damaging her children for life; that they would become freaks because of her. What was she doing that this person, who had never met her or her children, could make such an accusation? Was she locking them in cages? Did she beat them? Were they being sent off to work as child laborers? Was she smoking crack next to their cribs at night? No, nothing of the such. Her crime, the reason she was dooming her children to a life as outsiders and freaks, was breastfeeding on demand and co-sleeping. She was rightfully very upset by this accusation, and attacked back at her accuser.

This made me wonder, why is it that parents become so judgmental of other parents methods of raising their children. Why is the way one parent chooses to raise their children right while any other way of doing it is wrong? Why are there a plethora of books out there telling parents the correct manner of childrearing, that if they do not follow the guidelines set they will be damaging their children. Isn't being a parent hard enough? Aren't most mothers hard enough on themselves? Do moms need all this judgment thrown at them by some pricks who decide that because they have a PhD it means that they are a parenting expert? Do they need to be attacked by their fellow parents because they choose to approach childrearing from a different angle?

I only breastfed for a month, I decided to stop breastfeeding because I felt it was the right thing to do for the relationship between me and my daughter. I do not co-sleep, but also do not use the cry it out method. Pumpkin sleeps in her own room, and has since the day she came home from hospital. I also respond to her when she cries, no matter the time. I wear her in a baby carrier as often as possible, and believe no baby can be held too much. I decided to cloth diaper and I make all Pumpkin's baby food. She has been learning two languages from birth, and we plan to introduce a 3rd language later. I quit my job to be a stay at home mom, but will send Pumpkin to school when the time comes, not attempt to school her at home. I do believe strongly in vaccination, and will not postpone or skip the recommended schedule. I do not follow any parenting philosophy, or take what the books say to seriously. I make my own way with what I have learned, and what I believe is right for us.

Am I a bad mother because of my choices, or am I a better mother because of them? I am neither. We all make choices; look at what will work best in our homes, with our families. Why is one choice any better than another, as long as that choice is made in love? A bad parent is one that abuses or neglects their child, one that would purposely do them harm. The rest of us, we love and do everything we feel is best for our children. And our children will only thrive because of our choices, because those choices have been made with love.

posted by Laura @ 6:08 PM   6 comments