Thursday, December 01, 2005

Selective Sight

Last night Mr. P and I had a discussion (you know raised irritated voices but not quite yelling) when I mentioned his selective senses.  Most men seem to have these, the most common is selective hearing, when a man can tune out anything they may not want to hear, or completely block you out when watching football/soccer etc.  But with Mr. P his selective sight annoys me the most.  

Last night he decided to go upstairs for the evening completely ignoring the four mugs and scattered coasters on the coffee table.  I just did not understand why he did not put these away before turning in for the night.  Yes, I can just as easily also put the mugs in the sink, and I did before going upstairs and confronting him, but I did not see why he ignored the mess in the first place.   He took this very personal; feeling attacked about what he does / does not do about the house.  Yet that was not my problem, as he does help out around the house (though mostly when asked, not via his own will).  

My issue last night was with how he manages to just ignore things and walk past them when they are obviously cluttering up the house.   Like his underwear on the bedroom floor when the laundry basket is les than 5 steps away in the bathroom.  Or the pile of junk slowly accumulating on the dining table, dumped there as he comes in the house.  The mess he leaves in the kitchen, crumbs on the cutting board, tea rings on the counter.   The silverware that does not get washed but somehow gets left on the bottom of the sink when everything else gets cleaned.   The saw that is still laying half under the guest bed since it was last used in that room over 3 months ago.   These things irritate the hell out of me.  I can not just walk past the clutter and ignore it.  Things left lying around make our normally tidy home feel very dirty.  So I do not understand how he can ignore it, pretend it is not there, or just not see it at all till I point it out.  

Last nights argument – sorry discussion – ended with us both irritated.  Mr. P, feeling personally attacked, me feeling frustrated by his selective sight and his denial of it.   As I turned out the lights and rolled over in bed, strategically facing my back towards him, Mr. P said what I think is the most telling thing of all.  He does not see the clutter and the mess, because he does not care.

He just does not care.  He does not care if the house is cluttered and untidy, and he does not care that it bugs me.  I guess I need to find something not to care about… something that he does, and we will see what happens then.  In the mean time any suggestions on how to make him care just a little bit, enough to see the dirty underwear at least?  

posted by Laura @ 1:42 PM   4 comments