Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Going Home

Thank you for your kind comments to my last post.  I am happy that other people understand how much my in-law’s attack hurt me.  However lest you think that a few terribly insensitive comments from Mr. P’s family are chasing us from the Netherlands I better expand on our seemingly sudden choice to return to the US.

Shortly after Pumpkin was born I told Mr. P that I feared I would never feel at home here, and that it may be time to consider moving on.  My urge to leave took him by surprise since up to that point it had been him longing to return to America, and me who hesitated, still seeing light at the end of the tunnel.    I do find that there are many advantages to us living in Europe.  Not the least being the importance placed here on traveling, that the education system is much better, and I prefer socialized medicine over the free for all in the US.  However after trying to fit in for the last 4 years, I had realized that the light at the end of the tunnel was dimming for me.  This could be my fault more than it anyone else’s, but it was quickly becoming obvious that the honeymoon was over.  

We evaluated our choices.  I wanted to live somewhere where English was spoken, where I had the confidence again to place phone calls and deal with day to day issues.  Our list was short: Australia, New Zealand, England or America.  Mr. P quickly vetoed England and New Zealand (why I still do not know, as I have heard it is beautiful!).  That left Australia and America.  Once we looked at the difficulty involved with Mr. P getting a work visa for Australia, as well as the travel costs to visit both our families from “down under”, we sadly crossed that off the list too.   America is big, but our hearts lay in only one place there, San Francisco.  Unfortunately we are not the only ones in love with the bay area, and home prices are outrageous there.  In September, when visiting my family, we took a short trip to Phoenix to see if we liked it there, as it was warm, close to California and housing was still affordable.  No offence to any of my readers from the Phoenix Metro Area, but we both were unhappy with it.  It was suburban sprawl at its worst, and seemed to lack any sort of heart and soul.  

When we returned to Holland, we decided to shelve the move idea for a while and try and make it work here.  However we both would mention moving from time to time.   The events that transpired over Christmas just made clear for Mr. P what I had been trying to tell him.  I do not fit in here and I will always feel like an outsider.   It was obvious then what we were to do.  So we are stepping off the property ladder for a year or two and moving back to the bay area.  At this point I am truthfully more than happy to let someone else pay for repairs to heaters, leaking roofs, worn carpets and house painting.    Our house now seems like less an investment and more a money pit anyway.

We have a long path ahead of us.  Mr. P will get a green card through me, but that does not mean that the application process is quick or cheap.  We also must sell our home and ship everything back.  Then it is a matter of finding work, housing and settling back in America.  We estimate we will move no earlier than September 2006.  But I am happier now than I have been in a long time.  I am going home.    

posted by Laura @ 4:04 PM   5 comments