Thursday, October 06, 2005

Ahhhhhh! Just EAT already!

She will not take the bottle, this is the second bottle today, and the second bottle she has screamed and cried through, shaking her head and arching her back. She is hungry, takes two frantic sips and then spits the bottle out and screams in pain. This is the same every day, some bottles do go down fine, and I breath a sigh of relief, perhaps it will be better now. It did get better, for about a month she had cramps only once every few days. I could deal with that. But once we got back from our holiday it came back with a vengeance. And I so can not deal with it any more.

Every day for the last 4 months I have worried and worried about Pumpkins eating. First it was WHY does she scream and cry at the boob, why will she take the nipple and then spit it out and scream for hunger but not take it again? Why were my nipples becoming inverted again after doing everything in the pregnancy to bring them out? Why is this such a struggle every feed every day? I spent every feed crying along with her, till finally I realized I dreaded when she would wake up again to eat. So I decided then to switch for the heath of our relationship.

She took the bottle wonderfully, she would down a bottle in minutes, and no crying! But she was always hungry. So I worried about feeding her more than the box said. Would I get a fat baby, you know, one of those "fat formula babies" everyone talked about? But eventually she slowed down and she was drinking the allotted amount, gaining weight at a good schedule. Then the cramps started. And every day I wonder will today be bad? Will she eat or will I have to sit for over an hour waiting for the gas to pass so she can drink?

We decided to take the advice of the doctor and try again the formula for colicky babies that we tried a few months ago. Back then it made her spit up more, turned her poops to an awful green mush and did not make the cramps any better. In fact she REFUSED to eat at all. She would simply smell the bottle and start to cry. But the doctor said perhaps now it will help. So I went out to buy the formula. But of course, in the way that my life works the freekin formula company decided to change their packaging and obviously planned VERY bad, because NO STORES had the formula. I went to 5 stores looking, and Mr. P looked at various stores near his work. But no-one had the formula.

So here we are, she still screams through every bottle, and I cry along with her. Frustrated and feeling like a total incompetent mother who can not even get her baby to eat, who can not stop her pain. I will go again to look for the formula today, and hope that they have it, and hope that it helps. But right now I think this will never get better.

posted by Laura @ 11:00 AM   2 comments