Monday, August 15, 2005

Only a Mother Could Love That Diaper

Pumpkin, I hope when you reach puberty and decide that your mama is the most embarrassing, annoying, un-hip person you have ever met, that you read this and realize just how much I love you.

This morning, when I got you up from your nap only to discover that you had taken the most god awful nasty algae green pasty crap, I did not recoil in horror (at least not for long). No, I continued to talk sweetly to you as I peeled your shit covered pajamas off your body, and opened the diaper from hell. Still smiling I then started to wipe the pasty shit off your back, your stomach and of course your entire diaper area. Now this was no normal shit, this one covered your body (and now my hands) with the maximum sticky power. Perhaps this is what my fellow blogger Papa Large would coin a T.A.E.. Diaper wipe after diaper wipe left your ass, only to reveal that the green paste was still there! You thought this was funny, actually hilarious. You smiled and giggled as mama tried to detach the nasty diaper sheet from the cloth diaper and then the cloth diaper from the completely covered plastic cover. I actually do not think there was a square centimeter of diaper or diaper cover left untouched.

Finally I got you cleaned up (though I had briefly considered submerging you completely in the sink) and proceeded to dispense of the algae green diaper and diaper cover into the soon shit covered diaper pail. And what was mama thinking this whole time as she patiently disposed of your not so solid waste?

If only I had the camera here. Then I could truly share this diaper with the internet.

But lucky for my readers, the camera sat downstairs and I was too covered in shit to go and get it.

posted by Laura @ 10:39 AM   3 comments